[ always fighting him, always a moment away from collapsing everything. people who liked her more have walked away from her for less, so--Mammon, how did she even start thinking about this? ]
[Henry doesn't respond right away, eyes searching her face. He lifts his mug to his lips, taking a sip of his own (perfectly fine) coffee.]
If your moods bothered me as much as you think they do, wouldn't I have given up long before now? I'm just as stubborn as you. I've weathered worse storms before.
[He sets his mug back down.]
...Losing your teammate must have really shaken you.
[ there are a few Basilisks she hasn't seen in a few days. and more than that is the sense that something is changing, that the Warden is finally losing control of her inmates—Minato sowed that particular worry seed. it had felt vindicating in the moment, surrounded by elevator wreckage, but as always, Sprezzatura's mind has turned the thought over and chewed it to pieces, and she's realizing some downsides to that concept.
primarily, that this might all end well before she's ready. ]
Maybe I do not wish to forever be storm that one has to weather.
[ there is a tight clench and then release around her heart. better hold onto this one, Sprezzatura, through all the good. and bad, because whatever horrors he's committed, at least he's committed to this, too.
her swallow is so thick you can nearly hear it... but something finally wrenches back into place ]
You cannot renounce on deals with devils, you know.
[He gives her the moment she needs to let that settle. Henry wonders if it can provide a small amount of comfort, a connection wrought with permanence, one that Solitary cannot erase, one that exists even if they are flung to opposite ends of the universe, back to where they came.
[ how can she even tell what a comfort is anymore? it just feels like an ache. like her heart is throbbing up in her throat, words she doesn't understand bubbling behind her lips. when every connection she forms seems like it eventually breaks, promises don't mean much—or they shouldn't.
this one does, though.
reaching across the table for his hand. she's a touchy woman. you already know this about her. ]
[Yes, he does. And he can be, too — always reaching for the face, the chin. But this time, Henry merely glances down at his hand when she clasps it. His fingers flex slightly in her hold before he returns his look to Sprezzatura.
Something’s shifted in her. She’s made her decision about the bonds formed in this place. Henry, too, is on the precipice of that, though not quite far enough to have fallen past that point of no return. Not yet.]
So you’ve decided. Well… you’re one step ahead of me when it comes to most of the rest of this place.
[ it only lasts for a moment. she's too into her cups to endure the feeling of reaching out to someone who doesn't reach back, and that's so often been the issue. her hand withdraws and disappears beneath the table to grip at her own knee ]
I do not feel ahead. I feel like I am chasing something moved on without me.
[He didn't mind the touch. But she retracts it just as soon as she offers it, and paired with her words, Henry's brows scrunch a little.]
What? Me?
[He hasn't denied her of anything. He certainly doesn't recall as much. Flashes of that time in the diner spring to his mind. Maybe he's being too presumptuous, but-]
You made it clear you weren't interested in me like that.
[ who are already gone, and those who could not find my indecision bearable, or something like that; maybe it's a feeling based in nothing but her own sense of loss, and it has no bearing on reality. he flows into that second bit before she can formulate any of this. always speaking without thinking about it first, that's her.
[Sprezzatura, without taking a trip into your head, Henry Creel is not emotionally equipped to parse what you want. It feels like, despite everything he’s said, he’s lacking somehow — but he cannot cross a certain threshold like the one from that day, or she becomes too gun-shy.
And so fresh after telling her the truth? About how many he’s killed? How does he know how much is too much, olive branch or otherwise?]
[ girl you think it's any clearer on the inside? all she knows is that she doesn't want to push him away so far that he won't return, despite the warning signs.
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I just want you to--
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...Approve?
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Never mind. It is stupid.
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No, it's not. Tell me.
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I want you to—like me.
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[His brows scrunch together at this.]
After everything, surely you don't think that I don't like you?
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[ mumbles half-heartedly ]
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What's that?
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[ always fighting him, always a moment away from collapsing everything. people who liked her more have walked away from her for less, so--Mammon, how did she even start thinking about this? ]
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If your moods bothered me as much as you think they do, wouldn't I have given up long before now? I'm just as stubborn as you. I've weathered worse storms before.
[He sets his mug back down.]
...Losing your teammate must have really shaken you.
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primarily, that this might all end well before she's ready. ]
Maybe I do not wish to forever be storm that one has to weather.
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Instead, he can offer something else.]
How about I promise you something?
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Hmn?
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No matter how bad the storm is.
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her swallow is so thick you can nearly hear it... but something finally wrenches back into place ]
You cannot renounce on deals with devils, you know.
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It does for Henry, in a way.]
I wouldn't dream of it, anyway.
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[ how can she even tell what a comfort is anymore? it just feels like an ache. like her heart is throbbing up in her throat, words she doesn't understand bubbling behind her lips. when every connection she forms seems like it eventually breaks, promises don't mean much—or they shouldn't.
this one does, though.
reaching across the table for his hand. she's a touchy woman. you already know this about her. ]
You were right. I need these bonds.
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Something’s shifted in her. She’s made her decision about the bonds formed in this place. Henry, too, is on the precipice of that, though not quite far enough to have fallen past that point of no return. Not yet.]
So you’ve decided. Well… you’re one step ahead of me when it comes to most of the rest of this place.
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I do not feel ahead. I feel like I am chasing something moved on without me.
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What? Me?
[He hasn't denied her of anything. He certainly doesn't recall as much. Flashes of that time in the diner spring to his mind. Maybe he's being too presumptuous, but-]
You made it clear you weren't interested in me like that.
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[ who are already gone, and those who could not find my indecision bearable, or something like that; maybe it's a feeling based in nothing but her own sense of loss, and it has no bearing on reality. he flows into that second bit before she can formulate any of this. always speaking without thinking about it first, that's her.
GRIPS HER KNEE HARDER ]
I have not been in good place.
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And so fresh after telling her the truth? About how many he’s killed? How does he know how much is too much, olive branch or otherwise?]
…Can I sit next to you?
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it's about not being alone. ]
You can.
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Then he reaches out, fingertips just under her chin, to turn her head gently towards him.]
Look at me.
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mumbles, ] I... I am inebriated. Nothing coming out how I mean.
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